Topic: "Joke of the Day" (page 3 of 3)

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moose
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I guess you all know the chuck norris jokes? I found the same for linus torvald :D

Linus Torvalds once found a segmentation fault in the universe.
Linus Torvalds can run kill -9 and kill Chuck Norris.
Linus Torvalds doesn't die, he simply returns zero.
Linus Torvalds first written program had artificial intelligence.
Linus can divide by zero.
Linus Torvalds runs Linux on his wristwatch and toster.
Linus Torvalds doesn't receive error messages.
There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Linus Torvalds allows to occur.
Linus Torvalds does not sleep. He hacks.
Linus surfs the web using nothing but netcat.
Linus Torvalds can play 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time.
Linus made the red pill.
Linus Torvalds didn't learn from the University of Helsinki, the University of Helsinki learned from Linus Torvalds.
Linus Torvalds once developed a programming language so good that it makes python look like punch cards.
Linus Torvalds doesn't need to boot.
Linus is real, unless declared Integer.
Linus doesn't push the flush toilet button. He simply says "make clean".
Linus Torvalds has no dependencies.
Linus Torvalds takes one look at your desktop and knows which porn sites you visited. In the last ten years.
Linus Torvalds sleeps with nunchucks.
Linus can enrich himself simply by chowning your bank account. He does not do this because there is no challenge in it.
There are no man pages for Linus Torvalds, only god pages.
Linus Torvalds can do an infinite loop in five seconds… in his head.
Linus Torvalds doesn't wear glasses anymore not because he had laser eye surgery, but because he finally got his xorg.conf properly configured in his head.
Linus Torvalds can use a nice level lower than -20.
Linus Torvalds doesn't need to mount his drives.
Linus Torvalds doesn't debug. His programs are always perfect.
Linus Torvalds can install Linux on a dead badger.
Linus Torvalds doesn't need backups. He just uploads his files and lets the world mirror them.
Linus Torvalds is taking over the world. Microsoft is just a diversion so that no one would suspect a mild mannered Finnish programmer.
Linus Torvalds already has Linux 3.0. He is just keeping it to himself to build suspense.
Linus Torvalds didn't design Linux to run on the 386. Intel designed the 386 to run Linux.
People pray to Jesus, but Jesus prays to Linus Torvalds.
Linus need not worry about Microsoft patent crap, he simply do `sudo mv /tmp/ms /dev/null`.
Linus Torvalds is more powerful than root.
If you could read Linus Torvald’s mind, you'd find that his stream of conciousness is entirely in binary.
Linus scared A and B away, so they had to make C.
Linus only has 2 buttons on his keyboard '1' and '0'
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Z
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I just want to tell these Linus jokes are great :)
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alt3rn4tiv3
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Since we're on comics...


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alt3rn4tiv3
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aceldama
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** NOTE: STRONG COCKNEY ACCENT REQUIRED **

teacher: john, as we're on the subject today, can you please form us a sentence with the word "aorta".
john: urm.. ..er.. ..i fought i'd go down the pub yes'erday af'ernoon, but i realized i ough'a do some housework first.
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Synaps
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Plane flies over the ocean, and crashes near the small island, but everybody survives. After some time rescuers come to that island and see the following picture:
There are bones and blood everywhere and only one man left with bone in his mouth.. He looks at the rescuers and says: "I know, you must probably think I am a monster, but please, understand that I had to survive somehow, I had to eat something! To eat these people was the only way for me.." Rescuers reply: "Ok, we understand you... but... The crash was only yesterday!!!" :)
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Topic: "Joke of the Day" (page 3 of 3)

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